Hey, they’re nationalising the Edinburgh – London rail route. Again. Don’t you just love it? You know, how efficient private enterprise is at running a business and keeping it going? Don’t get me wrong, I do think that private companies are far more adept at making a profit than public companies. They’ve proved it time and time again with the railways. First of all you buy them cheap, make sure that the franchise is in your favour, scoop off millions of taxpayers hard earned dosh, and as soon as you have to re-invest, give the whole thing up as a bad loss, and let the taxpayer pay for picking up the little broken pieces they’ve left behind. That’s how you make a profit as a private company, but perhaps it’s not the best model for running a public service…

But what do I care, I don’t even live in Britain anymore. Although, I heard that it occasionally gets warm there now.

But we are back on my favourite topic – the religion of capitalism. You don’t believe it’s a religion? I sat for an hour – really, an hour, I have nothing better to do – with a banky type person – you know,  medallion round neck, fat rings on fat fingers, cigar chomping, sweaty type – who was trying to sell me a share investment portfolio. I think it has something to do with that thing that crashed a few months back. Now what he told me, and I quote, is that we’ve all got to believe, really, all of us just have to believe, in the cyclical nature of the stock exchange, and then we can be certain, 100 percent certain, that it will, one day, go back up again. Just believe and you will make money, believe me, is what he said. I take it that if it doesn’t quite work out as planned it’s because I didn’t believe enough, brother.

But the brotherhood of bankers have really got this one off pat haven’t they? I mean, we’ve just witnessed one of the biggest shifts of capital  from the public to  the private realm ever. And they just bloody well took it. It’s as if they paid off everybody – the law, the politicians, the state, everybody. You can see them smiling as they got out the begging bowl and said,

“hey guys, bit of a slip up here, we’re gonna need some cash.”

“How much?”

“Ooh, let’s say 700 billion. For starters”

“Oh, okay, sure guys, no problem. Umm, what are we gonna get back?”

“Get back? get outta here. What you want it back for, you don’t know what to do with it anyways? I tell you what you get back, you do us a favour – maybe we’ll do the same for you one day. Okay?”

“Yeah, sure, whatever.”

“Good boy, here, take a cigar – it’s Cuban.”

The biggest economic crash in Western history since the Tulip market went bust, and nothing is going to be changed. And you know why? Because we believe, brother, we believe.