I am still not convinced that jogging is a good thing. After two weeks of pounding the pathways I think that it is plainly evident that the human body is not designed for running. Look at it from an evolutionary point of view. We are slow, ungainly, our flimsy joints cannot take the incessant strain. Animals designed for running (well, not designed, but apt) have four legs, not two.

And yet, against all the obvious empirical evidence, doctors insist that jogging is good for you as the human body was designed for such painful movement. Humbug. If the human body is apt for anything then it’s hanging around on street (tree/cave/riverbank) corners up to no good, or walking to the next watering hole (pub/disco/club) in search of a good old yap and an ensuing fist fight. It’s the same with swimming. Throw all other animals into a pond and they instinctively do the right thing – they swim to the side and get out. Do that with any untrained self-respecting human being and they will look at you with baleful eyes, shout abuse at you and sink.

But that’s what they can do, is shout abuse – very effectively, in a multitude of different forms, they can talk you into doing a multitude of things you never dreamed of doing. Like working for a living… And the other thing human beings were obviously designed to do is squatting around fires, waterholes etc. inventing things which they could then turn into weapons of mass destruction. Maybe an elephant never forgets, but a human being doesn’t just remember you, s/he always gets you back, either by talking you into submission, or lancing you with a poisonous arrow (or nuclear warhead – or whatever). But that’s where all this evolutionary engineering has gone, and not into jogging…

Which, of course, brings us back to jogging. Millions upon millions of middle class morons in the western world have obviously been duped into partaking in one of the most subtle weapons of mass destruction we have witnessed in the last decades. Whereas other less vicious cultures advocate yoga or tai chi for a long life, western corporations and their doctors have invented jogging to cut down on the costs of the over-expensive middle classes. And I like the lemming I am, have now joined them. My end is nigh.